I Miss You

Dear Kim,
It's been nearly four years since You died. I'm still grieving, but You probably already know how horribly I miss You. Somehow, I've come this far without screwing up too horribly. You're always just under the surface of my thoughts. When I feel You nearby, I get so excited and happy.
Sometimes I wonder how Craig can put up with me; I love him, he is absolutely wonderful, but sometimes I get so frustrated with the way he does things...but he tries so hard to keep me happy. I just don't get him sometimes....sometimes I feel that his Mormon upbringing is so ingrained that it limits the way he thinks. Were you frustrated by me? I don't doubt that my Mormon views used to get in the way of some things...I'm sure of it...I was in such spiritual flux when We met...We didn't talk much about spirituality, but it was always mingled in Our play and everything else We did. It was such an amazing, intense experience...and I still crave it...desperately....kinda like BRAT, but Craig isn't ready for such a thing...it was kinda hard for You....but so amazing...freaky...I didn't like it, but the submission of the act made me feel whole. I look at Mr. Bag and I can't tell you how much I miss You giving me an enema...talk about a limit for Craig...he's such a clean freak when it comes to the body that sometimes I wonder why he isn't freaked out by anal sex. On the plus side of things, I've been able to explore role playing with him...and that's something I know You wouldn't do because You always insisted on completely being honest and feeling the experience without being in a role. Whodduh thunk I would have a pirate fetish? I had no idea. I'm going to leave off for now. Other things I need to do.
Love you.